Since I work with so many couples regarding their budgets and finances in general, as well as their emotional relationship, I’m always on the lookout for unique ways that spouses can talk about money.
How to talk with your spouse about money is a common question. A great financial tool for couples is the deck of Money Habitudes cards to help couples start talking about their money. Learn more about this tool in the article below.
Another tool, one of my couples came up with, is what they call the “Love Chat” night on a weekly or sometimes monthly basis. This is time set aside for comfortably addressing a few of those nagging questions, issues or decisions that have been on hold. A glass of wine or little bowl of chocolates might be just the thing for your evening “Love Chat”.
If you are keeping some secret debt from your partner, these tools may open that door for a more healthy and honest conversation.
Remember, you are always welcome to contact me if you would like to explore healthy ways to connect with your spouse about your household budget. — Judy
4 Ways to Talk To Your Spouse About Money
It is no secret that couples find it difficult to talk about money. The subject of overspending, saving money, budgeting, and income can all be awkward and touchy subjects. Money Habitudes provides the insight on how to talk with your spouse about money.
If you find it difficult to talk to your spouse about money, you’re not alone. One Brazilian study shows that money was one of the most common issues faced by couples. Another study found that out of 748 instances of conflict between 100 couples, money was the most salient and repetitive argument in a marriage.
Yet, it is vitally important to the happiness of your marriage that you and your spouse learn to communicate openly about all things – including your finances!
And that is where Money Habitudes marriage courses come in. These financial tools for couples help marriages survive and talk openly about money matters without judgment. Here are the four ways to talk with your spouse about money:
1 Open the lines of communication
Communication is the cornerstone of a happy, healthy marriage.
Couples must be able to come to one another with any problem, concern, or emotion they are having. Not only should they feel free to talk to one another, but there should be a sense of unity and comfort when they do.
That being said, it is not always easy for couples to communicate honestly, especially when it comes to money.
Money Habitudes helps couples open the lines of dialogue in a way that is non-threatening.
People often cringe at the thought of talking about finances because it can be stressful and sometimes embarrassing to discuss with your spouse. Particularly if you have differences in opinion about how to spend or save your income.
Consider our card game as one of the best at-home marriage courses for communication. It creates a safe space that helps you and your partner talk about money while getting to know each other better.
2 Get to know each other’s money backgrounds
You and your spouse were both brought up in different households and the way you were brought up to view money may be entirely different. These views affect your financial and personal choices in your lives.
If one spouse is a spender and the other is a strict saver, it could create problems in the marriage.
Our marriage courses on money help you understand your financial habits and gives you both a better understanding of your tendencies. Once you discover your roadblocks, you’ll be able to take positive steps toward better financial habits.
3 Keep the subject positive
One great aspect of Money Habitudes is that it’s a low-pressure activity. While the subject matter is important, it’s presented as a game. And who doesn’t like playing a good game?
Statement cards help spark stories and memories that keep dialogue flowing and the presentation of the game makes it easy to use and encourages couples to relax, connect, and laugh together.
This is wonderful for deepening marriage bonds since studies show that couples who laugh together feel more satisfied and supported in their relationship.
4 Helps couples resolve conflict
Couples must be able to come together as a team in order to resolve their conflicts.
Tips for healthy conflict resolution include –
- Choose the right time and circumstances to bring up finances or other touchy subjects
- Have a calm demeanor
- Keep your cool – don’t let a disagreement be an excuse to resort to name-calling or overreactions
- Listen without interruption
- Remember that you are partners, not enemies
- Find the real issue at hand – don’t let yourselves get off topic
- Agree to disagree
- Compromise whenever possible
- Be honest without being cruel
- Have time-limited discussions to avoid things getting out of hand
- Use “I feel” or “We” statements as opposed to “You never..!” or “My problem with you is…”
- Show empathy. Try and see things from your spouses’ point of view
- Come together as a couple and strive to solve the problem at hand
Money Habitudes can help couples start financial conversations and gain a new perspective on their spending habits. Learning how to communicate and solve problems will be highly beneficial for couples who are just getting comfortable talking about money.
The cards are flexible
One great thing about Money Habitudes is that it can be treated as one of the most helpful marriage courses there is. And the best part? It can be done anywhere! These cards can be used during dinner, cuddling in bed, during a counseling session, or at your monthly marriage check-in.
Our cards are also great for using as an icebreaker with your spouse for how to talk about money.
Oftentimes couples will begin sorting through the cards, only to end up in a much longer discussion than they had anticipated!
Couples will greatly benefit from these marriage courses. Not only will they learn how to communicate and problem-solve, but they’ll begin to understand each other on a deeper level. Get to know your spouse and make finances fun by using Money Habitudes today.
Sylvia Smith is a writer who likes to write about relationships and how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. She is currently associated with Marriage.com. She is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt its principles in their relationships. By taking purposeful and intentional action, Sylvia feels any relationship or marriage can be transformed and truly enjoyed.